Click on my picture to hear my welcome. NOTE: Links open in another window.
- Meet my brothers and sisters...but please come right back!
- Here's a picture (49k) of my whole family!
- Here's what my daddy does.
- Here's my mom's home page.
- Here's my mom's Swiss Valley Christian Bookstore.
- Have your mom and dad visit our Chapel for big people.
- And if you haven't already been there, don't miss the Children's Chapel.
- My awards
- Oh, yeah! Don't forget to see our Haas family Christmas letter.
- Hey, check out my mice page that I created!
Rosemarie (age 11)
I'm very sorry I haven't been able to get any new jokes out lately but here they are now! :) *Smile*
Doctor, Doctor, I feel like a spoon.
Sit still and don't stir.
Doctor, Doctor, everyone keeps ignoring me.
Doctor, Doctor, I feel like a bell.
Take these pills, and if they don't help, give me a ring.
A little boy stops in front of a church with his bike and he sees the priest come out. The priest says "Come inside, I want to show you something." The little boy says to the priest, "But somebody will steal my bike." The priest says to him "Don't worry, the Holy Spirit will watch it."
So the little boy goes inside and the priest says, "Let me show you how to do the sign of the cross. In the name of the Father, the Son and the Holy Spirit, Amen. Now you try it." So the boy says, "In the name of the Father and the Son, Amen." The priest says, "What happened to the Holy Spirit?" The boy replied "He's outside, watching my bike."
God created the mule, and told him, "You will be Mule, working constantly from dusk to dawn, carrying heavy loads on your back. You will eat grass and you lack intelligence. You will live for 50 years."
The mule answered, "To live like this for 50 years is too much. Please, give me no more than 20." And it was so.
Then God created the dog, and told him, "You will hold vigilance over the dwellings of Man, to whom you will be his greatest companion. You will eat his table scraps and live for 25 years."
And the dog responded, "Lord, to live 25 years as a dog is too much. Please, no more than 10 years." And it was so.
God then created the monkey, and told him, "You are Monkey. You shall swing from tree to tree, acting like an idiot. You will be funny, and you shall live for 20 years."
And the monkey responded, "Lord, to live 20 years as the clown of the world is too much. Please, Lord, give me no more than 10 years." And it was so.
Finally, God created Man and told him, "You are Man, the only rational being that walks the earth. You will use your intelligence to have mastery over the creatures of the world. You will dominate the earth and live for 20 years."
And the man responded, "Lord, to be Man for only 20 years is too little. Please, Lord, give me the 20 years the mule refused, the 15 years the dog refused, and the ten years the monkey rejected." And it was so.
And so God made Man to live 20 years as a man, then marry and live 20 years like a mule working and carrying heavy loads on his back. Then, he is to have children and live 15 years as a dog, guarding his house and eating the leftovers after they empty the pantry; then, in his old age, to live 10 years as a monkey, acting like a clown to amuse his grandchildren.
Knock The Lord is my programmer, I shall not crash.
He installed His software on the hard disk of my heart,
All of His commands are user friendly,
His directory moves me to the right choices for His name's sake.
Even though I scroll through the problems of life,
I will fear no bugs, for You are my backup;
Your password protects me;
You prepare a menu before me in the presence of my enemies;
Your help is only a key away.
Surely goodness and mercy will follow me all the days of my life,
And my file will be merged with His and saved forever.
Super Cool Links
Children's Bible Hour with Uncle Charlie
How to keep an insomniac busy
Kid Explorers - from ChristianAnswers.net, family-friendly entertainment and education
Royal Rangers - Reaching, Teaching, and Keeping Boys for Christ
The Froggy Page
The Nine Planets - a multimedia tour of the solar system
Observatorium - the latest space pictures from NASA
A Christmas Carol - by Charles Dickens
Some of My Favorite Books
Trixie Belden and the Mystery at Bob-White Cave by Kathryn Kenny
Mandie and Her Missing Kin by Lois Gladys Leppard
Mandie and the Forbidden Attic by Lois Gladys Leppard
20,000 Leagues Under the Sea by Jules Verne
Marty's Little Secret by Jerry B. Jenkins
Heidi by Johanna Spyri
David and Susan at the Little Green House by Mary M. Landis
A Story I Wrote - Angie's Verse
Look unto Jesus
When you are going through trouble,
and you don't know what to do,
look on to Jesus,
and he will see you through.
When life starts to get tough,
and you think, no, no! This is enough!
Your hopes all crumbled and torn,
and your all tired and worn,
remember the Lord.
He had to wear thorns.
When you've lost all your friends,
possessions, wealth, and trends,
your wealth, well being, and when your friends,
your very best friends, start to turn against you,
look unto Jesus, your savior, your redeemer and Lord.
And he will make you whole.
And all nations will proclaim, Jesus is Lord!
The redeemer! King of kings, and Lord of Lords!!
By Rosemarie Haas---
Oh, mommy! Oh, mommy!
I made a report!
Then won't you please read it to me?
Of course! Of course!
I'll start with Sunday and me.
What do I wear on Sunday?
I wear my Sunday dress.
What do I wear on Monday?
I wear my Monday vest.
What do I wear on Tuesday?
I wear my necklace.
What do I wear on Wednesday?
I wear my Wednesday best.
What do I wear on Thursday?
I wear my best pressed dressed.
What do I wear on Friday?
I wear my guests best dress.
What do I wear on Saturday?
I wear my least best dress.
That's very good, my darling child.
I am very proud of you.
And now are you through?
Oh, yes! Yes! Yes!
And I'm very happy too!
By Rosemarie Haas---
My Lovable Puppy and Me!
My lovable puppy and me,
walk around with glee,
to see the birds,
the trees, and the evergreen.
We walk around through gardens and shrubs,
that no one has ever seen.
My lovable puppy and me
will explore forevermore.
My Lovable Puppy and Me.
By Rosemarie Haas
Author's note: This poem was inspired by a full-grown, male cocker spaniel named Peanuts.---
The Merry Seasons
Spring - the days of joyous planting,
Summer - the days of gallivanting,
Fall - the days of wind and snow,
Winter - the days of ice and cold.
By Rosemarie Haas---
The Holiday Seasons
Spring - Jesus' death and resurrection,
Summer - independence, liberty,
Fall - thanks to the Lord of creation,
Winter - Jesus' birth and New Years eve.
By Rosemarie Haas
Copyright © 2007-2021 - The Lorain County Free-Net Chapel
North Central Ohio, U.S.A.
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Last updated January 10, 2021
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